Hemingway

Dear Provo,
These are my thoughts about you:

You're a chapter in the book of my life.  A lovely chapter, in which you've greatly edified and enlightened me through your lovely institution called BYU.  You also introduced me to a tall, dark, and handsome man with whom I fell madly in love; eternal thanks for that.  You've brought me sunny springs and breezy falls and excited my wrath for your wretched winters.  I loved you for your rocks and mountains, met many wonderful life-long friends in your valley, enjoyed an occasional stroll along your lake and so on.  Really you've been quite amusing and I've enjoyed your companionship greatly.

However, you're starting to get a little Tolkien-esk.  I mean can we move on already!  How about altering your writing style just a bit.  I might suggest Hemingway as a mentor; brief and to the point is what I'm getting at.  That's right, my last 10 weeks in your presence have been downright intolerable and I am SO TOTALLY DONE WITH YOU.

Let's not end this bitterly.  I think it would be in both our our best interests if you could grant me just a few final wishes; give me sun every day this week, give me A++'s on all my tests and papers, and make the dull ache in my heart go away.  You'd think with only one week left to go it would subside.  But it's not, it's escalating!

Provo, your ending has dragged out a little too long.  Let's finish this up, put the last period on the page, close the book, set it on the shelf and only come back to it for reminiscing.    

Thank you and good day.